What's Da Buzz?

Tough love is a term in the USA and some other places that mean a series of choices you have to make to help someone grow. The reason it is called ‘tough’ love is because you have to go against your desire to help, step back, and watch a person you love hurt themselves badly with their choices. You have to let them toughen up while you have to stay tough enough to let them fall.

Without going into too many specifics, this is a combination of intervention information available; my hubby’s training in dealing with Emotionally Disturbed individuals, and personal experience. When all three are merged together, it makes sense.

From the training portion, people can become addicted to many different things ranging from shopping, alcohol, a particular drug, taking drugs in general, attention, being emotionally abused and much more. The standard household of an addicted adult is one parent has an addiction, the other parent is an enabler (excuse maker / provider o lagi na lang may excuse!), then 3 or 5 siblings with three becoming addicted to something themselves and partnering up with enablers and two black sheep or one who can’t stand it and runs away from the problems. Then the pattern repeats each generation until the cycle is broken.

How is the cycle broken? Unfortunately, this is where the tough love comes in. If you are a person in that cycle, you need to identify what role you are by being brutally honest with yourself. Then the most important part cannot be stressed enough.

“You cannot help someone who does not want to help themselves.”

If you have a tendency to burn food, either you choose to change and learn how to cook or you can cling to an excuse of you just don’t know how. You can only change yourself and how you think. Then you have broken the generational cycle for yourself and your future generations.

itutuloy po.. or to be continued..

-Anah