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The challenge has been thrown down to answer a series of questions regarding the discipline of a child. If you are a regular reader, you will probably not be that surprised of our answers. If you are not, get ready as this will likely not be the normal set of answers. In this challenge, there are six sets of questions which will be noted in bold. Our answers will be beneath them.

When do you start disciplining your child? Is there even a “right” age to start discipline?

For us, disciplining our child started before she was born. Actually, the discipline started several years before she was even conceived. Each of us knew from the examples in our lives that we had to be in the right positive mind and self-disciplined to be the proper role model for her before she was born. To try and figure it out after the child is here means you are playing a game of catch up. They start learning from you immediately.

How do you teach your kids right from wrong? How do you instill your rules?

The most important part of teaching our child what is right from wrong is in how we live our lives. We are their role models. Our work ethic, habits, word selection, behavior, how we treat each other and everything else will be merged together to form her personality. The rules in our house are simple. They are always tell the truth, always respect others, do your share of the work, and have fun. Since our children are looking to us on how to be a sibling, daughter / son, and a spouse as well as a parent, it is on us as the adults to live our lives right with all others in our part of the world. They will do what we do.

Additionally, we always remain alert to the teachable moments of life. When we all take note of how a child or adult is behaving in public, we will share with our daughter if it is a positive or a negative behavior.

What do you do if your child breaks the rules?

Our two specified rules are for us the parents.

Rule #1 — All must smile always and laughter every day. This is setting the tone in the home. Life happens but we control our attitude. Also, there is no medication for a rotten attitude only self-correction.

Rule #2 — Anything we do our children can do because they are going to do what we do. If we punish a child for doing what we do, then we lose the right to be respected as we are being hypocrites. Having this unconditional love and respect in the household makes the greatest form of punishment being the disappointment in who you let down.

When our child does do something wrong, our first goal is to find out why and what was her influence. If it is because of something we did or she copied something we did, then we are the first to apologize. Humility is an important tool and it reinforces respect, honesty and trust. When we find out the reasons, then our actions are to correct that behavior and explain why in an age appropriate manner.

How do you feel about spanking?

Spanking is something we do not do as we have no desire to instill fear in our child. However, each of us messed up in our childhoods and got it once or twice. I skipped the spanking on the rear and escalated to the bamboo switch on the bottom of my feet. In hindsight, I deserved it as I could be a brat at times. So we are neither for nor against it, but we do not use it.

Who is the disciplinarian in the family?

This is debatable. I could be the harsher one as I am more prone to emotional outbursts. I am human and sometimes a particularly bad day at work of lots of whiners combined with arthritis striking or that time of the month or stressed out due to illness in my family back in the Phils puts my fuse a little shorter. I do apologize later after my hubby has calmed all of the emotions. However, he is tougher and stricter. He says he is trying to be the velvet hammer. I really need to read that book.

How do you feel when other people (teachers, grandparents, uncles/aunts etc.) try to discipline you kid?

If you raise your child right, this is not that much of a concern. The teachers are a non-issue as we homeschool our child. We could not stand the values taught by the public schools nor the behaviors she was learning from other kids. Grandparents, uncles, aunts and the rest are within their right, especially when visiting their homes, to say something when she does not stick to their house rules. It is a matter of respect. Usually, it is either goofing off at the table or not picking something up and putting it away.

Okay, enough for now as this is likely one of my longest posts.

Thank you,

Anah

P.S

Please check the PBBC 7 here.

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