Entering into a new phase of our future, we must take actions to develop a new Department to assist in sensitive but ultimately very important functions. So it is with my pleasure to announce, this is the official formation of the Department of Homeland Soda Security.

The functions of the DHSS shall be enumerated as follows:

1. The consumption of soda in our household shall cease. In particular, my preference for Coke.
2. The acquisition (buying) of Coke and soda shall be on an indefinite hold.
3. No acquisition of soda or Coke shall be done in any grocery store, gas station, retail store, restaurant, or any other facility.
4. No acquisition of soda or Coke shall be done in any other manner.
5. Transition our consumption to natural juices, milk, water, and XS or Tea.

Rationale for taking these steps:

1. To combat the fat cells on my thighs whoaa, I must eradicate my greatest weakness that serves no nutritional purpose – Coke.
2. Coke may be the primary Philippine carbonated beverage but it also doubles as a rust remover so I wonder what it does to my teeth and body.
3. The removal of the caffeine and sugar help to prevent diabetes and adding other costly preventable ailments.
4. Enhance the ability of the family to shed the excessive weight (especially since my hubby can’t really exercise) and overall dental health
5. Redirect monetary expenses to where it can do some good.

Let it be known that all of these functions of the DHSS with the rationale given will not be easy. So you will receive reports for every 30 days of success. Today marks day number 2.

Welcome to our new world. It shall be a world free of Coke and soda and unnecessary caloric consumption. It shall be a world devoted to using Coke as it was meant to be used – as a rust remover.

Anah

credits: freedigitalphotos.net

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