We hear that question and it holds so many different meanings depending on the topic in which it is brought up. For my topic, it is still all about communication, trust and understanding. Those are and always will be the top three keys to any relationship.

It does not take long at all to watch a crowd of people you do or do not know to find many parents whether they are single or married make the same mistake over and over. They either talk too childishly to their child or they treat a child like an adult in how they talk to them.

The first part does not help a child learn the language they are to be speaking when you do baby talk. It also makes you look like an idiot in the grocery store or retail store. The kid will not be judged but those parents who don’t know how to treat a child in accordance to his or her age do get the attention and the potential rolling of the eyes of strangers. If you want to see this and live in the USA, just visit a Walmart store and it will not take long to find an example of this parenting. For example, say the child is 10 but the parent treats them like a 5 year old. Then the parent usually can’t understand why their child is being picked on in school or has other issues. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure it out.

The second part you can often see when the parent is too concerned with any number of other things ranging from what bills to pay, what lipstick to wear, where they need to be, or any common self-centered topic. They are so absorbed about themselves they forget that the children are not adults. Eventually, they are stumped years down the road and wonder where they went wrong.

It comes down to communication, trust and understanding of your children and teenagers. Here is a key part in all of this. It is not the duty of the child or teenager to understand you. They are the ones learning and we are the ones teaching. We are the adults; they are children. The focus is on us. We all need to grow up and take the responsibility.

To assist in that, I recommend the 5 Love Languages of Children and the 5 Love Languages of Teenagers. They may have our genetic code but that doesn’t mean they understand how we say things. They are at different stages in their lives than we are. So it is up to us to be the example of how communication is done. If we the parents take the effort then it builds the trust and understanding. That in turn makes the parenting challenges much easier to handle.

The goal is to have a respectful and mature long term relationship with your child for as long as you live. Unconditional love is the language that works when you are speaking the right dialect. Additionally, they also have books on Parenting Your Adult Child.

To quote the website: “Family relationships are the most complicated most important relationships in a person’s life.”

When you got the direction books, why guess? There will be plenty of other challenges to deal with.

Thanks,

Anah

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