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Part Two of Tough Choices and Tough Love…. Click here to read the Part One

What about those you care for who are still trapped in the cycle? You can state your position on the topic once. The extra words, pleading, reasoning will do no good. They have to be willing to change. The only option you have left is to walk away. That is the toughest part of tough love. This may mean your brother, sister, uncle, father, mother, or whomever will end up homeless or possibly dead. They have to acknowledge they have to change.

How do I know this? My father was an alcoholic. His choices caused a lot of pain and misery for many. We saved his life twice then walked away until the isolation made him reflect enough on his choices until he chose to change for the better. But that doesn’t always happen. Some will never choose to change and take their addictions to the grave with them.

If you are in the Philippines, it is very difficult to break out of the cycle as you are surrounded by it. The economic issues keep you together often just fighting to survive. But even if you are 6 years old, you can choose to not participate in what you are watching. My brother and I had to make that choice in our lives and we did. Is it easy? Not at all.

My story is common enough in the Philippines so I do not need to repeat it here. Balancing the respect for your parents with avoiding the addictions (smoking, drinking alcohol) that are so common is tough. But not breaking the cycle is tougher on your future generations.

-Anah