What's Da Buzz?

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It never stops amazing me what researchers will discover. They take the time and the funds to delve into the mysteries of life. Sometimes the discoveries are incredible and have a significant impact. Other times you wonder what took them so long. Then there is the third category of discoveries and one of these is the category for today’s entry.

From the University of Denver’s Center for Marital and Family Studies, Howard Markman, a psychologist and co-director of the center says they have discovered “The more you invest in fun and friendship and being there for your partner, the happier the relationship will get over time.”

They recommend four tips to a happy marriage. The first is fighting fair. Nagging, yelling matches, holding grudges, complaints and the like all have a negative impact on a marriage. The second is keeping the positive feelings alive. The third is reading particular books. The fourth is supporting the goals and dreams of your spouse.

Isn’t this all wonderful knowledge? I’ll clue them in on a hint though. This has been known for thousands of years already. The best roadmap to a happy marriage is surprisingly found in the Bible. If one studies it and the other doesn’t, then there will be friction as the couple is not capable of understanding each other. That in turn impacts the ability to trust each other. Very quickly the relationship can turn sour and it is over.

I wonder how much money was spent to figure out that detail. It is summarized as “Happy Wife, Happy Life.” Happiness is knowing you are loved by a man you can trust, understand and communicate with. Men know they are loved when they are respected and allowed to lead. The trick is finding a guy who is ready to be a man or finding a gal who is ready to be a woman.

A person is who they are. If they need to grow, then they are not ready. Just like the bananas on a tree in the Philippines. If you pick them off the vine before they get a chance to grow correctly, it will never become a banana ready for the market. There is nothing you can do to make it ready. That is the other most important lesson frequently ignored. You can only change how you think. A person cannot change a potential spouse. It fails every time.

So pick your bana(na) carefully and have fun! Then we can all gather together and laugh at how long it took the psychologists to figure the basics out. What else are they 3000 years behind on?

Thank you,

Anah

Photo from www.betterwaypress.com